Embracing My Neurodivergent Self (Without a Formal Diagnosis)

For many years, I quietly wondered about where I fit within the spectrum of neurodivergence. I’ve never pursued a formal diagnosis - not because I fear one, but because I’ve questioned whether I truly “qualify.” Yet over time, I have come to understand that neurodivergence cannot always be fully defined by clinical labels or diagnostic criteria – it is experienced and expressed in deeply personal, complex, and evolving ways. It’s lived. These ways of being are woven through everyday patterns, preferences, relationships, ways of seeing and being, even when they fall outside textbook definitions. And those parts of me have always been there.

Growing up, my world was often shaped by solitary immersion in art, storytelling, and rich daydreams (along with a Ninja Turtles obsession!). These creative and imaginative inner landscapes offered a sense of safety and freedom, even as I felt somewhat disconnected from social groups around me. There was a pull toward belonging, yet a parallel feeling of being different or out of sync. Today, I find a deeper sense of ease and energy in close, one-on-one friendships, particularly with other neuro-sparkly folks who share similar rhythms, while larger or unfamiliar social settings can still feel overwhelming and draining. Over time, I have learned to ease some of my social masking, embracing more authentic ways of relating in spaces that feel safe and affirming, though certain situations still call for armour.

My relationship with routine is paradoxical. I am both drawn to structure and resistant to it – craving predictable frameworks, yet struggling to sustain them. My focus and energy often shift between multiple interests and projects, leading me down intricate rabbit holes of curiosity. This wide-ranging focus can feel joyful and creative, but also chaotic at times. Time behaves unpredictably – hours can slip by unnoticed when I am immersed in something meaningful, while entire days blur together in a haze. Emotionally, I generally maintain steadiness, though stress and change can unsettle me. I continue to build and refine practices to support my well

being, knowing that this is an ongoing process.

Nature offers a profound sense of refuge and connection – a place where I feel an expansive belonging that reaches beyond human frameworks and expectations. Sensory and aesthetic experiences, whether in art, music, or simply noticing beauty, sometimes transport me into altered or dreamlike states, deepening my sense of engagement with the world around me. My empathy often shows up as an attunement to the moods, energies, and subtle signals of others, sometimes to the point of neglecting my own needs or boundaries. At the same time, a strong, though selectively expressed, commitment to social justice – especially around disability rights and LGBTQIA+ advocacy – feels central to my values and sense of identity.

The word neurodivergent feels right to me now. Even if there’s no diagnosis attached. Yet with this comes a strange inner critic - whispering fears of being a fraud, of “jumping on a trend,” of not being “official” enough. But I know this: my experience is real. My brain, my patterns, my ways of feeling and sensing the world are valid - whether or not they come with a clinical stamp. All of these threads come together to weave a complex, meaningful tapestry that feels authentic and integral to who I am.

In my work and in my language, I choose an identity-first perspective, recognising neurodivergence as an inseparable aspect of selfhood. At the same time, I wholeheartedly respect each individual’s right to define their own relationship to neurodiversity, and the language that best fits their truth. The language around this should be expansive, compassionate, and inclusive, making space for the full richness of human experience.

It is important to remember that neurodivergence extends far beyond autism or ADHD. It includes a wide, vibrant spectrum of minds, bodies, and nervous systems, each with its own ways of moving through the world. Embracing neurodiversity invites us to appreciate the many ways of thinking, sensing, feeling, and being that make up the human family, fostering greater empathy, respect, and solidarity.

For anyone who has ever felt unseen, misunderstood, or marginalised – regardless of diagnosis, label, or neurotype – I hope you find some sense of recognition and resonance here. This reflection is an invitation to meet all parts of yourself with compassion and curiosity, to honour and celebrate diversity of mind, and to help nurture communities that recognise and respect every individual’s inherent worth.

I aim to support people wherever they fit – or do not fit – in systems of diagnostic criteria or social expectations. To all those who have felt marginalised, side-lined, or invisible, whatever your journey has been, I hope to cultivate connection, inclusion, and respect for every way of being.